Is Your Smile a Facade?
Behind the smile, there may be a storm of hidden sadness.
This quote by Ernest Hemingway sums it well.
Even the most happy person could be going through the darkest moment of their life.
Some says the best way to hide sadness is to smile, but behind every smile, there’s hidden sadness that no one knows about.
Instead of letting it free, some may inadvertently set up walls to protect themselves.
However, the wall we build around us not only keep us out of sadness, but also keep out the joy.
The facade that we usually see in others are often how people want us to see them. But we often do not know how much one is going through internally.
Some individuals may be experiencing what is commonly referred to as 'smiling depression,' a form of depression in which a person appears happy and flourishing on the outside while suffering on the inside.
Perhaps they are crumbling inside yet still putting up a smile.
It serves as a temporary displacement of one’s attention on their pain and sadness by ignoring it and burying deep down into the subconscious.
But it is akin to sweeping the dust under the carpet and hide it underneath. It does not solve the root problem by removing the dust.
Hiding sadness is like bottling up emotions, sealing them tightly until the pressure threatens to burst, similar to over-fermenting a jar of kombucha. It is important to find a healthy outlet to release the sadness.
Sometimes sadness is real and it can go downward spiralling if you do not find a healthy outlet to express it.
Being sad is hard and it’s easy to dig yourself deeper.
Instead of letting the pain numb you or bite you hard, try observing it.
Let the thoughts and feelings sink it. Feel the pain; let the sadness sink in.
If you ever need to let out a big cry, let it flow freely, releasing what no longer serves you anymore and stopping the pain and disappointment from gaining more power.
Watch the pain gradually lose its power instead of letting it consume your thoughts and emotions.
For those who are going through difficult times, please know that you are not alone.
When life gets tough, know that there are millions of people on earth going through other challenges in life. Perhaps they are trying to survive a warzone, battling with an illness, recovering from a retrenchment, or healing from the loss of a loved ones.
Embrace your pain, grief, and loss. It just wants to be recognized and set free.
Healing involves healthy grieving and allowing yourself to feel the range of emotions.
Take a pause; stop wearing a smile as your best disguise while concealing the silent battles within.
Life isn’t always filled with rosy roses and unicorns; sometimes it hits you like waves of tsunamis. You can’t stop them from coming but you can ride them out until you reach calmer waters.
But it’s ok; hang on to the little joy and be kind to yourself.
Honour and feel your emotions, talk through those feelings, let go if it no longer serves you, accept help when needed or journal it down.
To be human is to know sadness.
Owning our sadness is courageous and a necessary step in finding our way back to authentic ourselves.
While we allow ourselves to feel the sadness, the peace of letting go comes more naturally.
Give yourself the permission to process the unexpected parts of life that come your way.
Give yourself the space to feel whatever is on your heart today. It’s ok to say, "I’ll be alright, but just not today."
Sadness is the most honest reflection because it matters to you. If the matter doesn’t hold any significance, you probably won’t feel so deeply.
If this is you right now, I encourage you to...
- Allow yourself to feel and process the emotions that come up.
- Reach out to express your feelings. Talk it out.
- Journal your thoughts to free up space in your mind
- Be kind to yourself; a bad day doesn’t mean a bad life.
- Avoid self sabotaging and victimizing yourself.
- Tune into the things that make you feel good.
- You are not alone and you are loved.
- Share your love and gratitude to the people around you, or even strangers. You may not know a kind act of yours would make someone’s day.
With the full range of emotions, we can better navigate through life’s ups and downs and appreciate the richness it brings to our life.
May you find growth and love through the myriad of life’s lessons.
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