Not All Gifts Are Meant to Be Received
Have you ever felt hurt or upset by someone’s comment about you, even though the situation was long over? Do you find yourself still thinking about what they said after days, weeks, months, or even years later?
Imagine someone walking up to you and saying:
“You are so lazy!”
“Your skin looks bad!”
“You seem to have put on a few pounds!”
You may wonder what do they mean with their words? Were those words made intentionally or unintentionally? Do they not realize that their words can potentially hurt someone?
Such words can be deeply personal. Even if it was an ignorant remark, we never truly know the impact words can have on someone.
The Power of Words
Words are like gifts.
Words can heal someone but also break others.
Words can connect people but also divide us.
Words can inspire people but also harm someone.
Words can sow seeds of hope, optimism, and love but allso plant seeds of doubt, negativity and fear.
Words can empower us but also make us feel powerless.
Words hold an immeasurable power.
It is important to use it mindfully.
Not all gifts are meant to be received
My perspective has shifted after a Vipassana student shared a story during my last retreat.
It is a story of Buddha and the gift of anger. Keith Rosen summarizes it well here.
If someone brings a gift for you, but you refuse to accept it, to whom does the gift belong? The gift will probably still end up in the hands of the giver or pass to someone else.
Similarly, if someone were to come to you with gifts of negativity, to whom does the negativity belong?
You have the choice to accept or reject it.
If you accept their gift, they would have gotten their way and plant their disatisfaction on you.
Likewise, if you choose to reject or ignore the gift, they themselves will be the ones holding onto the negativity because they are unable to offload it to you.
Just let them be and ignore it.
This valuable lesson has shifted my perspective and teaches us how to protect our own energy and deal with negativity from people.
Be mindful of the gift you give
On the other hand, have you ever say things in the heat of the moment and regretted it?
As human, we thrive on love, connection and acceptance.
Sometimes refraining from speaking is more valuable than expressing our thoughts.
If the words are going to hurt or put someone down, take a moment and pause.
Instead of riding on the waves of emotions, let the emotions subside first and gain more mental clarity before articulating your thoughts.
Not only does this help cultivate self-awareness and calmness, but it also saves your energy from unnecessary unhappiness.
Hence, before giving someone a gift, ensure it is well-intentioned.
Let your words radiate positivity to the people around you and yourself.
May you receive and spread the wonderful gifts of love and compassion around!
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