How to be a Happier You? Here’s the Secret with Mel Robbins’ ‘Let them’ Approach
Recently, I came across a podcast by Mel Robbins where she discussed the “Let Them” theory. It’s a simple yet liberating approach to relinquishing control and anxiety in life.
In life, there are bound to be ups and downs. But how often do we let our surroundings influence how we feel and behave?
Sometimes we feel down when things don’t turn out the way we expected. For example…
- Feeling upset or neglected when your friends unintentionally forget to invite you to an outing.
- Feeling underappreciated when your peers or siblings receive more love and attention for various reasons.
- Feeling frustrated when someone stubbornly sticks to their poor habits despite your gentle reminders.
Chances are, we can’t change how people feel, think and behave around us.
Instead of feeling the medley of emotions, why don’t we just…
LET THEM.
It’s a liberating mindset shift when you surrender to the decisions and let the situation flow — especially events that are out of your control.
Dr. Amy Johnson shared a relatable analogy – imagine yourself as a tiny boat. When you react to others’ decisions and attempt to control or change their actions, it feels like you are paddling against the current and going against the resistance. However, if you simply let them and fully surrender to it, the boat will naturally turn around and drift downstream with the current effortlessly.
The thought of surrender, instead of fighting, creates peace and ease.
How much energy do we waste on insignificant things?
How much energy do we waste trying to change others to fit into our expectations?
As Mel Robbins shared, humans tend to get involved in an emotional tug of war. When someone is upset, we try to calm them down. When they become more upset, we try to take responsibility for their feelings and want to help solve their problems. This can lead to frustration for not being able to help and getting caught in spiraling emotions.
Sometimes, our attempts to save someone from a situation may inadvertently rob them of the opportunity to learn from their life lessons, thus making them be reliant on us.
Sometimes, the best way to support someone is simply to be with them, listen, and validate their feelings.
While we let others take charge of their thoughts, emotions and actions, we should not “Let Them” when someone is
- doing something dangerous to themselves or others.
- discriminating or harassing you or others.
- crossing your personal boundaries.
Aside from the above-mentioned, why not let others do as they wish?
Let them be who they are in the same way you wish others would let you be yourself.
Let them.
Let you.
Let me.
Let us.
May you find ease and peace in your life with this simple practice.
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