Whispers of the Mind: My Experience with 100 Hours of Vipassana Meditation
No talking. No eye contact. No digital devices. No writing. No reading. No music. No yoga stretches. No exercises. A total of 100 hours. Spread across 10 hours every day for 10 consecutive days. All observed in Noble Silence. To me, this wasn’t an ‘eat, pray, love’ escapade; rather, it served as a much-needed digital detox retreat away from urban life.
Throughout the 10-day silent retreat, we uphold Sila (morality) by following the five precepts: refraining from killing, stealing, lying, engaging in sexual misconduct, and using intoxicants.
Our Daily Schedule
Days 0 and 11 primarily focused on administration such as checking in and out of our accommodations. The official commencement of the silent retreat occurred on Day 1, and we diligently adhered to the following timetable:
- 4:00 am: We began the day with a punctual morning gong at 4 am.
- 4:30 am – 6:30 am: Meditation in the hall or personal space.
- 7:00 am – 8:00 am: Breakfast and rest.
- 8:00 am – 9:00 am: Group meditation in the hall.
- 9:00 am – 11:00 am: Meditation in the hall or personal space.
- 11:00 am – 1:00 pm: Lunch (Taking power naps, showers, or laundry.)
- 12:00 pm – 1:00 pm: Rest or Q&A with the teacher.
- 1:00 pm – 2:30 pm: Meditation in the hall or personal space.
- 2:30 pm – 3:30 pm: Group meditation in the hall.
- 3:30 pm – 5:00 pm: Meditation in the hall or personal space.
- 5:00 pm – 6:00 pm: Tea Break.
- 6:00 pm – 7:00 pm: Group meditation in the hall.
- 7:00 pm – 8:15 pm: Discourse (highlight of the day!).
- After discourse until 9:00 pm: Group meditation in the hall.
- 9:00 pm: Rest/Q&A with the teacher.
- 10:00 pm: Lights out.
Days 1 – 3 – Breath Concentration (Anapana)
The initial three days were centred on observing our breath, also known as Anapana – the foundational step in Vipassana practice. The purpose is to enhance the concentration (samadhi) of our mind. During the practice, we directed our attention to the natural respiration by observing the temperature and rhythm of the breaths.
Day 4 Onwards: Vipassana
By Day 4, as our minds typically achieved greater calm and focus, the Vipassana meditation technique was introduced to us. We were instructed to impartially observe our thoughts, emotions, and sensations. Adopting a meditative posture, we performed a full-body scan from head to toes. Subsequently, we focused on sensations within specific body parts – ranging from physical sensations (itch, pain, warmth, cold) to mental experiences (frustration, anger, restlessness). The objective is to simply observe the reality without reacting to it. We then concluded the 10-day journey with a loving-kindness practice, also known as metta-bhavana.
Understanding Vipassana
Vipassana, a meditation practice originating from India, is rooted in Gautama Buddha’s teachings, the Art of Living. Its primary aim is to deeply comprehend the true nature of reality by fostering awareness and mindfulness of the present moment. We are fortunate to have received guidance from Mr. S.N. Goenka, who dedicated his life to teaching until his passing in 2013.
My Experience?
Contrary to my initial anticipation, the challenge was to stay still and be in the present. My mind was brimmed with diverse thoughts – swayed between the past and future. Despite my efforts to remain composed, the most challenging aspect was resisting the urge to move despite the discomfort in my back, numbness in my legs, or an itch on my nose.
Once, I discreetly left a group meditation (presuming no one would notice) to retreat to my room. Just as I was about to drift into an afternoon nap, a volunteer gently prodded me to return to the meditation hall. No secret escapes allowed!
Key Takeaways
One of my favorite moments during the retreat was the evening sessions where we watched S.N. Goenka’s hour-long discourse recordings. These discourses covered diverse themes, including the nature of the mind, the impermanence of sensations, the significance of equanimity, and the truths of life. It has provided me a fresh perspective on approaching life. Below is a summary of the takeaways and favourite quotes from Mr. S.N Goenka:
- Mindfulness and Self-observation: Our breath and bodily sensations serve as important cues. When fear or anger arises, the breath falters or hastens, and sensations intensify. Gradual mastery of Vipassana builds our self-awareness and allows us to better manage our inner negativity and aversion. Don’t be surprised, silence can help fine-tune our innermost thoughts and feelings.
The observation of the physical sensations without reaction during Vipassana meditation produces a remarkable effect. It causes the old stored-up past conditionings such as anger, hatred, ill-will, passion, etc. to come to the surface of the mind and manifest as sensations. Observation of these sensations without any reaction causes them to pass away, layer after layer. Your mind is then free of many of these old conditionings and can deal with experiences in the life without the color of past experiences. – S.N Goenka
2. The Truth of Life: Society often encourages us to adopt a positive perspective. Instead of reacting to unwanted situations with fear or anger, we often divert attention to the positive, hoping aversion won’t amplify. I personally feel that such approach does not address the core issue. It’s akin to sweeping dust under the rug. We sweep negative experiences into our subconscious mind. Over time, the suppressed negativity accumulates, like a sleeping volcano, it may erupt anytime once reaches the tipping point. On the other hand, Vipassana encourages us to observe our thoughts and feelings towards the unpleasant. Instead of resisting the negative, we watch it gradually weaken with time, without losing our mental balance.
Learn to observe objectively whatever is happening. If someone is angry and tries to hide his anger, to swallow it, then it’s suppression. But by observing the anger, you will find that automatically it passes away. You become free from the anger if you learn how to observe it objectively. — S.N Goenka
3. Impermanence (Anicca) and Equanimity (Upekkha): All experiences are temporary. Similarly, both pleasant and unpleasant situations, as well as happy and sad moments, come and go. It is crucial to stay in the present moment rather than clinging to the past or grasping for the future.
Real wisdom is recognizing and accepting that every experience is impermanent. With this insight you will not be overwhelmed by ups and downs. And when you are able to maintain an inner balance, you can choose to act in ways that will create happiness for you and for others. Living each moment happily with an equanimous mind, you will surely progress toward the ultimate goal of liberation from all suffering.
Removing old conditionings from the mind and training the mind to be more equaimous with every experience is the first step toward enabling one to experience true happiness. – S. N. Goenka
4. Happiness Lies Within You: This was mind-blowing to me when I learned that happiness arises internally, not externally. In the past, I used to react when people made comments. For example, I would feel terrible when people said undesirable things or be on cloud nine when they commented positively about me. Then I questioned, why am I giving so much power and allowing my happiness to depend heavily from external? Then I realized, it’s all our own insecurities and ignorance. When we stop attaching ourselves externally, we become less reactive to life’s ups and downs. Vipassana trains us to observe our inner thoughts and cultivate less impulsive reactions.
It is a basic human need that everyone wants to live a happy life. For this, one has to experience real happiness. The so-called happiness that one experiences by having money, power, and indulging in sensual pleasures is not real happiness. It is very fragile, unstable and fleeting. For real happiness, for lasting stable happiness, one has to make a journey deep within oneself and get rid of all the unhappiness stored in the deeper levels of the mind. As long as there is misery at the depth of the mind all attempts to feel happy at the surface level of the mind prove futile. – S.N Goenka
5. There is No Shortcut in Life: Vipassana meditation offers a tool to help us train our concentration of the mind. We have to do the work and train our monkey minds to be still.
Work diligently. Diligently. Work patiently and persistently. Patiently and persistently. And you’re bound to be successful. Bound to be successful. — S.N Goenka
Would I Revisit the Retreat Again?
Absolutely! I’d love to try out another center in a different country. As of today, there are over 160 centers across the world. The recent retreat that I went to was held in Johor. The Singapore Vipassana retreat has now combined with the Malaysia group, held in Johor instead of St. John Island.
Would I Recommend it to Others?
Without a doubt! From my previous batch, the age group ranged from 20 to 70+ years old. Age is definitely not the limit!
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